civility

Civility

No matter how much we may try we will run across people that we do not like. There are probably many reasons for this, but no matter how much you might believe that it is your duty to be liked or like, it is not. Lying about it will only last so long. All facades fail eventually.

It is better to embrace the truth. Face the reason(s) head on. Be honest with yourself, and if necessary with the person that you do not care for. Nothing new may come of it. Nothing may change, there is a chance of that, but truth can provide some comfort.

What is important is civility. Civility does not require us to like everyone or even most people. It does require us to be courteous, it may require us to minimize the time spent with these people. But no matter: be courteous, be polite, but be honest.

Civilization is not based upon amiability but it is based upon common courtesy.

Truth in Poetry: 15

Problem: Trump and the Republican Party

Trump and the 20% or so of the American population that adulates him is not a new problem in the United States.  Of course, there are racist issues, xenophobic tendencies, conspiratorial thinking.  But there is also utter sociopathy, paranoia, fanaticism, and just pure, unadulterated greed.  There is also stupidity.  There is not ignorance, because ignorance is self-correcting. 

            This brings us to the problem.  Trump was allowed to take office and those who support him, support him knowing who and what he is.

            In order for Donald Trump to have taken office, there was a decades long movement to undermine good government policies.  The undermining of these policies has allowed for a minority to take control of this country.  This is part of the problem.  In a functioning and fair, and healthy governing system, Donald Trump would not have stood a chance.

            However, there will always be the fringe minority, the “deplorables” of any country.  These people are the cost of a civil society but the majority must not let them overtake the country.  People who support Donald Trump have no place in a civil society, and yet to be civil, there must be a place for them. This is the catch-22.  However, all opinions must be allowed, but all opinions cannot be considered respectable, much less accepted.

            Religion, fear, and greed all play a part in the debacle that the Republican Party has become, and in the once unthinkable idea that someone such as Donald Trump could become president.  While we cannot rid our society of people who would stand in the way of social and political progress, we must never, ever let them become philosopher kings.

Solution: Civil Responsibilities, Individual Responsibilities, Realism

            It would be much easier to simply state that education is the answer.  It would be much more comfortable if we could just make policy changes in the government, or regulate the billions of dollars that unconscionable corporations and individuals poured into both political parties for dubious reasons.  But these solutions, however much they are needed, are short-sighted for this particular problem.

            A solution to Donald Trump is more opaque, less ideological perhaps.  The United States has something very good, worth fighting for.  But we must always keep that in mind.  We often get derailed.  We often lose track of what it is that is important.  With that in mind, we must concentrate on changing anything and everything that allowed for Donald Trump.  This ranges from accepting everyone’s opinion (which we mustn’t do), to “agreeing to disagree”.  This includes calling out and facing people who would undo those ideals this country supposedly stands for.  This includes holding people responsible, especially politicians and religious leaders who allowed this atrocity as well as those who would undermine the basic ideals of the concept of democracy.

            This also includes facing realities.  As a country we must face certain realities that are beyond ideological beliefs.  We must realize that ideologies fall short, and that reality is what counts.  While we may want “things to be different”, we must agree on a direction, how we want them to be different.  In short, we must decide on what kind of society we want to live in, and then work (not wish) our way towards that goal.  We must give up John Locke and look towards John Stuart Mill.

            Donald Trump is a wakeup call.  His followers have always been here and unfortunately those sorts of people will always exist.  The rest of us allowed this to happen because of apathy, or laziness, or indecision.  We allowed this because we were too caught up in our own personal battles.  We were too busy buying the latest gadget or checking our “feed”.  We turned our heads instead of facing reality.  We got what we deserved: the Republicans and Donald Trump.  The Republicans, Donald Trump and that ilk are correct about one thing:  freedom does not come free.  But none of us can be free from our responsibilities to never allow another Donald Trump.

Truth in Poetry: 14

Problem: Civility

As the population grows and people move to cities en masse, the vast majority of people live in close quarters to one another.  As this phenomenon continues to grow there becomes a “rat king” problem.  Also, as our society evolves technologically, we have less and less need for our “neighbors”.  This leads to the attitude that the “other guy” is getting something that I could have had, rather than the more healthy: there’s enough for everyone attitude.  Now with cellphones we can disconnect at any time, for any reason, and anywhere.  Furthering the problem of civility was Covid.

As civility wains in our societies, so do our societies.  It is perhaps a well-known secret that the formalities of government keep government civil; they are often what makes a good government.  The same applies to societies.  When the so-called formalities of a good society wain, the society becomes less good.  As we as a society disregard accepted norms and traditions, we often lose some that are actually useful, and good.

Although civility is an esoteric concept, it is also one which can be recognized.  There are many examples of the dissolution of civility ranging from the way we drive, to the way we dress but civility, in all its forms is a cornerstone of any society worth living in.  It is not easy, and that is a problem since ease has become more and more important to us as citizens.  However, we must remember that easy is often not the best motivation for doing anything.

Solution: Parenting, Education, Population Control

            Yes.  Good parenting is an essential solution to the problem of civility.  However, sadly to say, there are many bad parents in the world, but solutions to bad parenting come with their own set of issues.  We could take Plato’s approach, that in The Republic. Population control, however, is an issue that must be addressed no matter what.  And this would seem to help civility.  If we are to live in close quarters, the less of us there are, the better behaved we might be.

            Of course, the primary solution has to be the education of children in the importance of being civil.  This could range from utilitarian manners to lessons in basic ethical philosophy (sympathy, empathy etc…)  We could broaden the education to those in prison, and those charged with lesser crimes.  If we chose to go China’s way, we could punish people for slight infractions, although it is not clear that that approach actually makes for a civil society.

            The easiest and the most difficult is for us all to realize that we would live in a better society if we all acted civilly towards one another.  Several other issues that could be enacted have been mentioned above.  If we as individuals simply acted responsibly and courteously towards one another at all times, it would go a long way.  However, getting to that point seems problematic without some kind of education in civility.

Civility

During these trying, political times it is easy to forget that we all want the same things. At least the sane among us. Travel anywhere in the world and this simple statement will be proven time and time again. Talk to your neighbor and you will find out that is applies. The things that we all want is safety, security and a little happiness. How do we get these things? Civility.

Somewhere down the road we have duped ourselves. We have decided civility is simply the basis of all other goods, that it will always be, that it will always exist. This is our mistake. And another mistake that we often make is that being civil implies agreeing or even liking someone else. It does not.

Civility is a fragile state that exists only when people realize that we all define the society in which we live. The question is what kind of society do we want to live in? There are only two answers: a civil one or an uncivilized one. So what does civility require?

In the Ancestor’s Tale, Richard Dawkins studies the evolutionary fact that we are all related and that we do not have to go so far back in time to realize that. Civility requires that we all realize that we are related and that we have to live together. Civility also requires that we discuss differences and call out obvious wrongs, but it also requires that we realize that differences are not all bad and that some wrongs are not so obvious. Civility requires rational thought and the understanding that if we do not work together that we will all fail.

Civility takes time, but without civility we may not have that much time left. I may not like my family all of the time, but they are the only family I have. And so it is with humanity.