“When an opportunity presents itself wait for the argument or ask what it is. A statement by itself is not an argument.”

We all know the type, and we all have been in those situations when someone says something prefaced by “I don’t want to argue, but…”  We all know that there is an argument there somewhere, and sometimes we have a choice, but sometimes we don’t.  We can choose to leave it alone and let it pass, but more and more we have a duty to dig a little deeper.  Often “I don’t want to argue, but…” simply means “I want to continue believing that I am correct.”  It is these times that it is our duty to dig a little deeper.

We all make claims all of the time and when we do, we must have evidence to support those claims.  Claims demand evidence.  It is not enough to make claims warranted by “I heard that…”, or “I read somewhere…”.  If that is the case, just don’t make the claims.  But when someone else supports their claims with such vague reasoning, our duty is simple: it’s time to dig.

“Where exactly did you hear/read that?”

If they don’t know, then there is no argument, and make that clear.  Don’t let things slide

The next step is on you.  An argument is a set of claims, not just one.  Some of the claims must be the evidence and that evidence must lead to a clear statement, the basis of the argument; the conclusion.  Sometimes the conclusions are prefaced by hedges like “I’m just saying…”, or “I don’t know, but…”  Listen to the words and reply accordingly.

“So, you don’t necessarily believe what you are saying?”  or,

“You don’t know, but you believe that…”

Often lies, ideological, and rhetorical claims are hidden with vague uses of language and therefore it is important for us to be precise both in our expectations of others and our expectations of ourselves.

Good luck!